Sunday, May 15, 2011

Fast Forward

It truly has been a while since I mentioned anything in this space so here goes. Things have been going well lately. I believe the following quote from my boyfriend last night just about sums everything up:

"You always think you're not going to make it, you're not good enough, things wont work out.. and then you're in everything, you're more than good enough, and everything works out."

I guess I have more self doubt than I care to realize but maybe I should cut that out for the time being. Things with SoulForce couldn't be better. We did one show so far in Golden Gate park in front of quite a few people. It was a free event so folks were stumbling upon us outside and couldn't help but stop and watch. The audience was very supportive of our mishap with the CD... the damn thing skipped but we recovered professionally. Gotta love the power of error. Sometimes we don't leave room for that life because we expect everything to be flawless. well at least I do. haha.

SoulForce is performing next at the end of May at a middle school in Daly City twice in the morning. Im actually really excited to perform for kids.. they seem to be a ton less judgmental.. plus I think they'll really enjoy what we do for them.  We are also performing in June 6 times at Mission in the Mix! I'm really looking forward to finishing these pieces in the coming weeks of rehearsal.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

It All Works Out

Lately I've been feeling down about dance. For some reason I've been having major loss of memory when it comes to choreography.. I have no idea why but I've panicked on several occasions as of lately and I've never felt such embarrassment in my life. I literally walked out of the dance studio 2 times in the last week when I just could not for the life of me remember the choreography that we JUST learned. I'm really hard on myself when it comes to things like this too. I cried hard on my way home the other night due to a combination of things. I think Ive just been feeling overwhelmed. I've even gotten sick in the last couple weeks which basically knocked me off my weekly schedule. I was forced to take a day off work and rehearsal right when Im the busiest I've ever been. I also for a second thought that I may not be performing in the company I auditioned for recently and that added insult to injury. I'm hoping next week changes my outlook on things because as of lately I've been struggling to maintain during the week. I'm about to look for new motivation and inspiration. Sometimes I need something like that to pick me up when I feel deflated. All I can say is thank god for weekends. 

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A Turning Pointe

Sorry for the long hiatus but things have been hectic in dance life lately. 

It took me a good long time to realize what I wanted to accomplish as a dancer. I've contemplated making it a lucrative passion, doing what I love and attempting to sustain life's necessities. I've also thought about how it could very possibly be my one and only escape and submersion from reality, leaving it at that. I then attempted to decide if the professional route even made sense or could even be a possibility for me at my current age. I've pondered the art and told myself to just dance from the heart and make it your dream to succeed how you see fit and thats where I ended up. After endless thoughts of where am I going and what are my goals as a dancer I've concluded that my path is going to end up being exactly what I make it, but if I ever want more I'll have to seek it out and go for it, polishing technique and strengthening my weaknesses along the way. 

Last Thursday night came my first real opportunity to become a part of a professional dance company. For weeks before the audition I was nervous, more nervous then I've ever been on stage actually performing. This was the real deal for me and I had to make the decision to go for this. I knew all along that I was going to make this happen for myself but I had several internal monologues and deeply struggled with the fact that I was going to have to officially "audition." Everything I had was going to come down to that fleeting moment and become the deciding factor on whether or not I had what it takes to dance professionally. 

Right before the audition was about to commence the voices in my head began to converse. "If you just sneak out right after this class, no one will know." But that was all wrong, because someone WOULD know. I'd know, and I'd know that I had let myself down and I'd have never known what could have been for me. I then heard "You HAVE to do this Mara, you've worked too hard over the years, this is it. This is your moment so make it good." I proceeded downstairs where a good 40 dancers were lined up ready to fill out paperwork and attach themselves to a number. Thats when reality sunk in. I was there and I was auditioning, I suddenly felt strength and weakness at the same time. I was scared and nervous but I felt like I belonged there among other great talent. With my heart beating triple time I went into the studio and learned a few 8 counts of some dynamic choreography. You could feel the tension and nerves floating through the room as we approached 10:30pm. We went through the movement thoroughly as tons of questions were asked. It reminded me of something the director of the group always says "Only sexy people ask questions." It finally came down to it, and the dancers lined up in groups of 6 to audition for the chance to be a part of a great experience. I was number 16 so I was in the 3rd group of 6. We ran through each group about 5 times before the process was all over and everyone sat and breathed a long sigh of relief.. including yours truly. 

I left the studio that night feeling good about myself even though I knew just how amazingly nervous I was. For the weeks leading up to the audition, to the day of and all the way through it. I thought I might have squandered my chances of actually making it because of my ridiculous nervous ways. I drove 45 minutes home that night and thought about how I did and wondered if I could have done just THAT much better. I had to sleep on it because it was over. There was no use for what ifs. 

Friday day I went to work tired as a dog. Having danced hard from 8-11:30PM and not hitting the pillow until after midnight was a completely foreign concept to me. I clutched my coffee cup that day like it might escape from my desk. My livelihood was dependent on every ounce of caffeine I could suck down. I checked my phone periodically throughout the day wondering, praying, hoping and wishing that I'd get a call from the director. Suddenly around noon, my phone rang. The caller ID read a 510 area code and if you're from the San Francisco Bay Area you know thats an East Bay number. I realized who it had to be and it was. The voice on the other end was familiar, warm and who I prayed it would be. I had made it. I couldn't believe it, but I had made the company. After I hung up the phone I lost it. I laughed, cried, jumped around and did all kinds of ridiculous things I can't even remember. And as I sat there and let it all sink in for a while I thought about how I pondered not auditioning. Thank god I did. 

I'm now officially a proud member of a real professional dance company called SoulForce out of San Francisco, one of the coolest more amazing, innovative, creative cities in the world. This had become a turning point in my life and now I'll never look back. I'm completely humbled and ecstatic to be a part of a company like this and I know it will change my life. I'm now looking forward to the future. 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Getting Nowhere

Until now I never was really clued into what dubstep was about and then I came across this video and I had a small taste and I think I want more. 

Magnetic Man seems to be a force you'd like to reckon's a little sumthin' on the group: 

Magnetic Man is an electronic music project consisting of dubstep producers and DJs, Benga, Skream and Artwork. According to BBC Music the three artists are "legends of the dubstep genre". The trio first met in the late 1990s at the Big Apple Records store in Croydon, England. They perform using three computers, one playing drum samples, one playing basses and the third playing leads and samples. 

Check this new song Magnetic Man Feat John Legend "Getting Nowhere." Makes me want to break out some new choreography..creative juices I feel you.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dope Video

From time to time I'll be posting snippets and things of various dance video from throughout the world shared by my friends and colleagues and some I've just sourced online. I fall in love really easy when it comes to dancers that just shine. Pro Phenomen was introduced to me via the Hip Hop Dance Fest held in San Francisco this past November. They are an astounding group of young dancers from Cergy, France that really elevate the game. Check any and all of their videos out on youtube, you wont be disappointed and you might even have to remember to close your mouth before the drool escapes. 

The following video was posted on Facebook by Pro Phenomen and one of their dancers/choreographers is  Physs. This man is amazing.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dance Fever!!!

Its that time of year again I think. All my dance friends are starting gear up for the new year of dance classes, choreography, performances, and of course reality shows. I know personally I can't wait to see what the year holds for my dance future. That sounds silly but I feel like this is a lucky year where breakthroughs and growth are inevitable. Last year I participated in an amazing dance performance workshop called Mission in the Mix, and it really blew my mind. I learned and grew so much more than I ever expected to. I really wasn't sure what to expect but I really learned a lot about myself as a dancer and otherwise. I also met a ton of people I really love and respect as individuals and artists. I highly recommend the experience of being a part of performance workshop. There are several performance workshops being held throughout the year and I encourage everyone to at least participate in one this year. I know they can be time consuming and kinda harsh on the wallet but every penny is worth it.. I promise you that.

If you're a SF Bay Area local I would suggest checking out the upcoming workshops happening at City Dance beginning in January. I don't have all the juicy details but I'm sure if you call them or go take class there you can get all the info.